July 1991, Volume 41, Issue 7

Tit Bits In Medicine

MEDICAL QUOTATIONS

Javed I. Kazi  ( Sind Medical College, Karachi - 75510. )

SUICIDE
Ra2ors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gasses smell awful
You might as well live.
DREAMS
Yet ate, in dreams, the custard of the day.
All that we see or seem.
Is but a dream within a dream.
APPENDICITIS
The patient suffered from chronic remunerative appendicitis.
APPETITE
Tis not the meat, but tis the appetite makes eating a delight.
BALDNESS
A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.
HEART
The only broken thing in the world which keeps on working.
GENERAL PRACTITIONER
In no profession does culture count for so much as in medicine, and no man needs it more than the general practitioner.
PATHOLOGY
Ugliness is a point of view: an ulcer is a wonderful to a pathologist.
PEPTIC ULCER
The hole in a man’s stomach through which he crawls to escape from his wife.
NEUROSIS
A neurotic is the man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.
EARLY RISING
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.
EATING
Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else, that is great.
DOCTORS
Clinician learns less and less about more and more until he knows nothing about everything. Researcher learns more and more about less and less until he knows everything about nothing.
COLDS
A person’s age is not dependent upon the number of years that have passed over his head, but upon the number of colds that have passed through it.
ALCOHOL
First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man. When the wine is in, the wit is out. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
FEAR
He who fears to suffer, suffers from fear. Fear is more pain than is the pain it fears.

Journal of the Pakistan Medical Association has agreed to receive and publish manuscripts in accordance with the principles of the following committees: